The following is an excerpt from the chapter “The Transfiguration of Gender in Married Life” from Renewing Gender: An Orthodox Perspective by Jean-Claude Larchet. This section is from the second part of the book, which answers the claims of gender theory by presenting the Orthodox teaching on the harmony and unity of the sexes in light of the divine vision for the salvation of humanity.
From the second to the fifth century, the Fathers of the Church greatly praised consecrated virginity.1 Then, from the fourth century onwards, they praised monasticism which had largely replaced it. They did not simply put forward the qualities of these two ways of life, marked by celibacy. They also showed how they had the advantage over marriage as they were free of the cares arising from married life and children.2 They were, of course, almost all celibate which must have inclined them to value this condition, consecrated to God, and to emphasize the problems of marriage which they observed from outside.3
However, they never rejected marriage and struggled with great vigor against the sects which condemned it.4 The struggle with these sects led them to teach that it is legitimate and of great value.5 Thus, they came to teach that monastic life and married life were two roads that led to the same ends. The means used were partly the same and partly different.6 They often considered virginity and monasticism as superior7 since they were radical and maximal8 in restoring man and woman to their life in paradise and making them like angels and giving them a foretaste of life in the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet marriage also can sanctify the Christian, providing him with a specially fruitful framework for spiritual life. Indeed, St John Chrysostom describes the Christian family as a “tiny Church.”9 Furthermore, we should recall that Christ Himself sanctified marriage by His presence at the wedding of Cana and His first miracle which He performed there. He never expressed any reservation about it and some of His disciples, Peter, the foremost, and Philip,10 were married.
Amongst those who praise marriage Tertullian stands out. In his magnificent letter to his wife, he shows the advantages of the community of life which allows the spouses to help each other and work together. Their common efforts bring growth to their spiritual life:
Where can one find the words to express all the excellence and happiness of a Christian marriage? The Church draws up the contract which is confirmed by the divine offering and sealed by the priestly blessing. It is witnessed and registered by the angels, and the Heavenly Father ratifies it. How sweet and holy is this alliance of two believers who carry the same yoke and are united in the same hope with the same vow, the same obedience and the same dependance! Both are brothers, both servants of the same Master. Mingled in the same flesh they become one flesh, one spirit. They pray together, bow together, fast together, Each teaches the other, encourages the other and puts up with the other. You will meet them together in the Church, at the divine banquet. They share poverty and riches, the fury of persecutions and the consolation of peace. Between them are no secrets to reveal, no surprises to discover. They live in complete confidence, eager to help the other, never bored, never sickened. They need not hide from each other their visits to the sick, their help to the destitute. They have no need to hide from other their visits to the sick, their help to the destitute. They have no need to hide from each other their charity, their unfeigned sacrifices, or their daily practice of holy things without constraint. For them, there is no need to hide the sign of the cross, to be timid in their salutations or dumb in their thanksgiving. Their mouths, free as their hearts, sing pious hymns and holy canticles. Their only rivalry is to see who will better sing praise to the Lord. Such are the unions which rejoice the eyes and ears of Jesus Christ upon whom He sends His peace.11
We may also quote the text of Clement of Alexandria who shows how a spiritual life led in common brings unity, harmony, and fruitfulness. Everything is in common in a relationship where man and woman are equal in every respect yet maintain their difference of gender.
Let us give ourselves up entirely to the Lord. Let us bind ourselves with ropes to the vessel of faith and let us be convinced that the virtues which we are bidden to pursue are equally the preserve of men and women, If they have indeed one and the same God, they have also one and the same Teacher, one and the same Church. Moderation, temperance, and chastity are virtues common to both sexes. They feed on the same foods and unite in marriage. They have all in common, their breath, their sight, their hearing, their intelligence, their hope, their inclination to hear the commandments of God and their charity. If man and woman have the same way of life, they also partake of the same graces and the same salvation. They are beloved of God with the same love and instructed with the same care. ‘The sons of this age,’ the Lord tells us ‘Marry and are given in marriage.’ This is the sole difference between them.12
There are difficulties in every form of community life since different personalities are thrown together with their different desires and wills. Life in a Christian community, be it monastic or a marriage, requires an ascetic struggle with its inevitable effort and self-denial. Each must fight his or her own selfishness, called by the Greek Fathers philautia. This egotistical self-love is, in their eyes, the principal passion and mother of every other. Each person must accept and respect the other’s different personality. One’s self-will and personal desires must not be set up as an absolute but should be harmonized with the desires and will of the other through sometimes costly compromise. In monasticism this comes about through the common reference point of a rule and through obedience to the abbot and a spiritual father. In a married couple, concord comes from a common reference to the Divine Will, expressed in the Gospel commandments. The couple may come to have “one heart and one soul” (Acts 4:32; cf. Phil 2:2), and to “be of one mind” (1 Pet 3:8) through their common faith and common will by which they reach an ideal that surpasses them and to which both agree. Neither seeks his or her own but the good of the other, and so the common good. This is the general rule. However, in the details of daily life there must be an ascetic struggle with the passions which bar the way to perfect concord, especially those linked to aggression, pride, and lust for power.13 The virtues must also be practiced assiduously, especially patience, meekness, and humility. Obedience, the pillar of monasticism, is also found in the couple, not just obedience to the Divine Will, but also obedience to each other. For, as St Paul writes, submit “to one another in the fear of God” (Eph 5:21).
This kind of ascesis does not simply lead to concord. It also leads to common spiritual growth over the years. Love becomes ever stronger for it is free of all those attractions which are outward and foreign to the Love of God, the love of neighbor, and the love of wife and children.
The rite of crowning, so characteristic of the Orthodox wedding ceremony, is rich in symbolism. Traditionally, crowns are for kings, for the athletes of old who won the victory and, spiritually, for martyrs. They signify honor, royal dignity, power, and reward for a great feat. All these are present in the rite of crowning.
“he spouses receive a royal dignity. As the priest says in the prayers, the couple are crowned with glory and honor. This is not in a worldly sense but signifies the new spiritual dignity to which they acceded through marriage. The spouses become king and queen for each other. Each will respect and honor the dignity of the other. Each, like a king serving his people, will care for the well-being and safety of the other, ready, if needed, to sacrifice himself or herself in this task. They are called to become king and queen of the passions which may arise in this new way of life as well as those which they have inherited from their former state.
In their marriage, the two spouses should pursue their personal ascetic efforts to which they should add the ascetic effort of life together. They need self-mastery and self-sacrifice. The Greek word, askesis, is a synonym of athlesis which means an athletic exploit or feat. In Russian the equivalent word is podvig, meaning achievement. The crowns of the two spouses symbolize the reward that they will receive for victory over their passions, obtained through their ascetic struggle [podvig] in their common life, a reward which will reach its full flowering in eternal life. As St Paul writes, “And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown” (1 Cor 9:25). So, the crown represents not only “the crown of justice” which rewards those who “have fought the good fight,” have finished the race,” and “have kept the faith” (2 Tim 4: 7–8), but also “the crown of glory that does not fade away” (1 Pet 5:4).
Married life and the family are founded upon love, a true Christian and spiritual love, which requires ascetic struggle. This means mortifying the passions and sacrificing oneself in a form of martyrdom, which is one of the themes of the wedding service.
A marriage lived spiritually as the way of spiritual fulfillment through perfect unity transfigures gender. The genders are not denied, but the oppositions of one to the other, provoked by the passions, are surpassed. The difference between the genders is no more a source of rivalry or conflict but of mutual enrichment in complementary harmony.
This excerpt is from:
Renewing Gender: An Orthodox Perspective
by Jean-Claude Larchet
ISBN: 9781942699576
The first major work appearing in the English language to address gender theory from an Orthodox Christian perspective, Renewing Gender offers a scriptural and patristic vision of humanity, as expressed by the Church through the centuries, that transcends the limits of both fallen nature and vacillating social norms.
- See Tertullian, The veil of the virgins. Gregory of Nyssa, Treatise on virginity. Methodios of Olympos, The banquet of the ten virgins. Basil of Ankyra, Of true integrity in virginity. John Chrysostom, On virginity. Jerome, Letter 22, to Eustochium. Ambrose of Milan, Of virgins; of virginity; on the instruction of a virgin. Augustine, Of holy virginity. ↩︎
- See, amongst others, John Chrysostom, Treatise on virginity 38; 53; 56–58; 56; Exhortations to Theodore, II, 5. Note that St Ambrose sees in virginity a way for a woman to escape from the domination of a man: “The wife must submit to the domination of a man, but not the virgin” (Des veuves, 81). ↩︎
- See France Quéré (née Jaulmes), “Le mariage dans l’Eglise ancienne,” dans Le mariage dans l’Église ancienne, Le Centurion et Grasset, Paris, 1969, p. 18. ↩︎
- The Encratites, the Gnostics, the Montanists and the Priscillianists. The Council of Gangres, in 340, condemned their hostility to marriage in Canons 1, 4, 9 and 10. ↩︎
- See, for example, Gregory of Nyssa, Treatise on virginity, VII. St Gregory the Theologian, Discourses, XXXVII, 9. John Chrysostom, Treatise on virginity, 8; 9; 10; 25; Homilies on Hosea, III, 3; Homilies on Genesis, XXI, 4; Homilies on marriage, I, 2; Homilies on Priscilla and Aquila, I, 3. ↩︎
- See John Chrysostom, Commentary on the epistle to the Ephesians, XX, 9: “… such a marriage [where the two spouses lead a common spiritual life] is hardly inferior to monastic life.” P. Maraval writes of the position of St Basil of Caesarea: “Many have noticed that St Basil of Caesarea did not practice an exclusively monastic asceticism. He presents the ideal of the Christian life to all who have been baptized, with monastic life being its most perfect expression” (Introduction à Grégoire de Nysse, Vie de sainte Macrine, SC 178, p. 91). ↩︎
- See, for example, Tertullian To his wife, 3; John Chrysostom, Treatise on virginity. 11.13; Athanasius of Alexandria Letter to the Monk Ammoun, PG 25, 1173: (“There are two paths in life, one easier and common, the other superior and worthy of the angels: virginity. If the common life is chosen, marriage, no blame is incurred, but less grace is received.”); John of Damascus, An exact exposition of the Orthodox Faith. IV, 24 (“Virginity is better than what is good, for there are degrees in virtue, higher or lower”). ↩︎
- St John Chrysostom writes that the only reproach one can make to marriage is that it is restricted to more modest aims than virginity (Treatise on Virginity, 10). St John of Damascus says: “Marriage is good, … but better is virginity which enriches the fertility of the soul.” An exact exposition of the Orthodox Faith. IV, 24. However, St Gregory of Nyssa in his treatise praising virginity considers it as a path which should be followed by those who cannot assume married life with the measure and virtues required. See especially Treatise on virginity VIII and the work of Mark D. Hart: Marriage, celibacy and the life of virtue: An interpretation of Gregory of Nyssa’s “De Virginitate.” Dissertation Boston College, 1987. “Reconciliation of Body and Soul: Gregory of Nyssa’s Deeper Theology of Marriage,” Theological Studies, 51, 1990, pp. 450–478; “Gregory of Nyssa’s ironic praise of the celibate life,” Heythrop Journal, 33, 1992, pp. 1–19. Valerie A. Karras sees this in a slightly different light to Hart (“A re-evaluation of marriage, celibacy, and irony in Gregory of Nyssa’s On virginity,” Journal of Early Christian Studies, 13–1, 2005, pp. 111–121). ↩︎
- Homilies on the epistle to the Ephesians, XX, 6. ↩︎
- According to Clement of Alexandria and some other interpreters Philip the deacon is the same person as Philip the Apostle. ↩︎
- To his wife II, 9. ↩︎
- Le Pédagogue, I, IV, 1–3, SC 70, p. 128. ↩︎
- St Ephraim the Syrian calls it the spirit of domination, or lust for power. ↩︎